Ah, love. You meet, you marry, you move in, and then you…decorate. But what happens when your decorating styles don’t jibe together as well as the two of you do? Will color palettes and fabric swatches be a constant struggle, testing your love–or is there actually a way to strike a balance that will make both of you happy?
In all honesty, it doesn’t matter if you’re newlyweds who recently said “I do” or a couple that’s been married for years–there comes a time when his-and-her styles come head to head. Thankfully, it doesn’t take couples counseling to marry your decorating styles. Sure, it may be challenging at times, but it can be done if you’re both willing to compromise. Furthermore, when it’s brought together effectively, it can be very rewarding.
Women and Men are Innately Different–and So are Their Decorating Styles
There are plenty of women and men who appreciate gender-neutral style, but in many cases, rooms are traditionally feminine or masculine based on who lives in the space. What do I mean by that? Well, look at it like this. Feminine styles often revolve around warm colors, floral patterns, metallics, layers, ruffles, curves, and ornamental touches. In contrast, masculine styles tend to be more focused on the simple and functional, gravitating towards earthy browns and grays, plaids and stripes, and straight or “boxy” forms. Both can be very eye-catching but it doesn’t make them any less different.
So, now we’re back to the main focus of this post: Just how do you compromise and design in a way both of you feel completely at home? By combining the best feminine and masculine elements until there’s a balance you both enjoy and appreciate.
The first step should be to commit to respecting each other.
Before you do anything, openly recognize that the ultimate goal is to blend styles, not personalities. Doing this lays the groundwork for showing each other respect. Without mutual respect, this whole process can go from merry to miserable. Hear each other out, act civil, and be open-minded, flexible, and fair. You might just see more options that you actually like!
Now, it’s time to evaluate what you have and look for similarities.
This is an important step so take the time to do it. At this stage, it’s the needs, not the wants, which should be the focus. Make a list of necessities and let the wants fall into place later. For couples that have been married a while, evaluating what you have acquired over the years is a good way to see what needs to stay and what needs to go.
Once you’ve both carefully evaluated your belongings, go back and think about any similarities you noticed. Maybe a color? Fabric pattern? Texture?
Even if it was something as simple as a common color you both liked, it’s a start. Take that and build on it.
Is there something either of you have your heart set on? If so, write out a wish list.
Sit down separately to make a list of everything you’d want your home to have. For this exercise, don’t think about the budget and don’t worry about what your partner will think. Simply let your imagination run wild and get all your heart’s desires down on paper.
Once that’s done, compare notes. Any more similarities? Now, narrow each list down to a top 5 list and then see if you can merge them together into a joint list. If there is something your partner wants that you know you couldn’t possibly handle, take this time to exercise your veto power.
So what now? Now it’s time to make some decisions.
A good way to make this easier is to agree to blend styles in main spaces and give each other free reign in another area of the house.
For example, work on blending your styles in the entryway, living room, kitchen, main bathroom, or any other room that will be seen by guests. Go through your joint list and look for things that will go together in order to make this happen. Get that streamlined sofa but offset it with some round side tables or a curvy accent chair. One loves neutrals and the other colors? Go neutral on large furniture pieces and save the color for artwork, pillows, rugs, drapes, and other accessories. You get the idea. Another important room you should each agree on, even if it’s only seen by you, is the bedroom–but, in order to take the pressure off this room, design it in a way that reflects a place or an idea that relaxes the both of you. Maybe something like a tropical oasis or a luxe hotel suite.
Those other areas of the home where you can each take free rein could include an office, workout space, media room, game room, basement, den, or even a garage. Talk about what other spaces you consider to be more “yours” and then go wild with however you’d like it to look.
Remember to be patient!
Just like any good relationship, the individual stance on design styles must evolve and grow. Decorating is a process. Don’t discount each other’s feelings toward a personal possession and don’t push to have it tossed out. Keep it light and stay relaxed so the process remains fun rather than stressful.
Following these tips should at least get you started in the right direction. Keep in mind that the perfect space won’t happen overnight, but in time, it will happen. For more decorating ideas visit our Cutting Corners Dallas Store!
